The Matter of Little Consequence

 

Episode 16

 

As is nearly always done in situations involving the most prominent people in society and politics, the investigation begins with the least important of them being attacked by the least powerful of those with any authority; so MI6 referred the issue to Scotland Yard who in turn put in the hands of London police. They decided to find out who those three girls with Prince Andrew were. The police contacted the lowest ranks of the Palace at Westminster staff. Upon being told by the staff that they did not know, the police demanded a copy of the guest list to be able to investigate further. That they could get.

 

Sir Schlock Heim's farmer client, a BMP, had been at the party. When the police inquired of him who those girls were, he did not know, and he contacted Sir Schlock for defense in case they went further in an investigation of him. That is how Sir Schlock got dragged into this story again, as he received a telephone call from his BMP client that very first afternoon.

 

"Schlock," said the BMP farmer, "the last time I hired you for defense it was over a cow. This time it is over three young cows that were photographed at a party in the Palace of Westminster. I just want you to be "Johnny on the Spot" in case they want to make another cow story about me."

 

Sir Schlock did not know yet about the cows to which he referred, but having seen the story that morning, he quickly looked again at the photo and saw the three girls there at that palace with Prince Andrew. He replied, "Yes, your grace, he shall be ready should you need his assistance, as always."

 

When working their way up the chain of power and influence at that esteemed place, the police came across Sir Schlock, as he had represented a person whom they saw on the guest list, the BMP farmer in the prior cow accident case. Knowing that they had justifiable cause for seeking the identity of those three girls, and that being done without any reference to Prince Andrew, they came to visit Sir Schlock to inquire about them. Sir Schlock, in typical legal counsel style, first asked them why they had come to see him, as he had not attended that event. They said they knew that, and they were just asking about it to see if anyone knew about them. They added that he had had a client there in attendance, and before contacting his client they had decided to seek his help.

 

Sir Schlock's usual style of talking and confusing everyone came to the fore when he replied, "If you have a reason to be talking to him about his clients, he will represent his clients as always in the best manner and style of English law and procedure. Other than that, he cannot say more. Good day and cheerio, sires."

 

When they left his office, Sir Schlock quickly phoned up the BMP client and informed him that they had visited him to ask about the three girl's identities. The client then asked him what he had told them. His reply was simple, "Nothing at all." But that did not satisfy the client's new level of concern that he was being investigated starting with his own legal counsel. He asked Schlock to be ready to attend if and when they contacted him with the same questions or others.

 

This first police inquiry caused this new story of little Consequence to be of growing importance, as the BMP was next on the hot seat. The news outlets got wind of that fact through their secret inside police sources. It became for them a story of the BMP having attended that party and possibly withholding information about the three girl's identities. Such was reported even before the police had contacted Schlock's BMP client, and Sir Schlock was mentioned in the reporting as his legal defense counsel.

 

The news story naming Sir Schlock went across the Atlantic in the news and caught the eye of Laura Norder just as she was about to decide not to pursue the story for her own safety and because of the evasiveness of the police when she had contacted them in London. "Ah ha!" she thought to herself out loud. "So I was right all along about that scoundrel 'Sir' and his little also-ran assistant and that Mrs. Ly." Laura's pot was boiling over with enthusiasm to get Sir Schlock finally in her clutches. She commented to herself that her name was not Laura Norder for nothing. She forgot completely about her prior concerns—now they were of little Consequence. Laura did not know of WW and his research into the "Matters of Little Consequence" file in the MI6 Top Secret vault or of the results there from.

 

WW, as his fate would have it, was now a much respected young agent of MI6, so much so that jealousy in the ranks began to grow. This did not bother him, though, at least until it started to affect his friendships with others in MI6. Those others did not know who he really was. Thus, they thought he had somehow managed to get to the top of MI6's command attention without due merit.

 

This seems an appropriate time to better introduce this young man. His given name, as stated earlier in this story, was Pepper Wood. This seems a bit of a strange combination of names until one considers the sources for them.

 

Wikitree, the genealogy site, reports that the Wood family goes back in English history to at least "Sir John 'of Wolverley' atte Wood, formerly Wood. John Wood, sometimes John atte Wood, designed initially 'of Northwick', Worcester and later 'of Wolverley', Worcs. was MP for the Shire in Parliament frequently between 1413 and 1435, retained as a Shire Knight. Thought to have been the illegitimate son of Sir John atte Wood of Wolverley he eventually inherited title to those estates in 1420 after the legitimate line of Sir John atte Wood expired.

 

"Later, in 1427, a Hamlet Smethwick, esquire, made a formal quitclaim to his 'cousin' John Wood of Worcester of the heraldic arms (gules, a lion rampant argent with a forked tail) previously borne by Sir John atte Wood.

  

"Wood was the alnager (the representative of the King that weighs and measures woolen [sic] cloth) for Worcestershire from 1405 until he entered parliament in 1432. This gave him control over the collection of the local cloth subsidies for nearly 30 years. . . . Wood died before 10 Nov. 1458."

 

Following the aristocratic tradition of using last names as first ones, the family name "Pepper" has a history of its own also. It had arrived to the current time by circuitous lineage from Mercy Pepper, who on Oct. 16, 1711, married William Freeman, born February 24, 1686, eldest son of William and Lydia Sparrow Freeman. Mary, daughter of the Rev. John Sparrow, rector of Skettleburgh, married Edward Brooke. Mary died in 1817, but going back in English history she had married into and had her descendants come from many knights of the BROOKE, OF UFFORD PLACE family. The family had a Coat of Arms, a Crest, and many estates in the parishes of Ufford, Bredfield, Martlesham, Westerfield, Bramford, etc., all in Suffolk.

 

The Pepper name came from Sparrows, not from Woodpeckers, but WW did not mind that. He had both lineages going for him, the Peppers and the Woods. This at least partially accounted for his gentlemanly manners and dedication to duty. The others in MI6, who had gotten jealous and resentful of his recent elevation in importance in the eyes of the command, had no idea that the real reason for this was his innate, naturally inherited civility and competence.

 

Little Consequence knew WW's real name, so she could connect him with his family tree. He had told it to them on the way to the military tour, and the night before that she had had a dream that had awakened her abruptly in which a 5 year old child looked like WW. This she well recalled, and with her new great interest in English history, she decided to research his name. It was then that she discovered the history just related that explains his name. So, perhaps, she thought, he is the knight in shining armor that she knew she wanted to meet someday. He was not John "The Grim," but that could certainly explain what she had seen in that dream about being on a safari in deepest India among the tigers with a young boy, about 5 years old, who looked a lot like a young WW.

 

This is what happens when a knighted English barrister, being considered in England and Wales as also authorized by the Bar Standards Board to conduct litigation and to practice in a "dual capacity," fulfilling the role of both barrister and solicitor, meets and has to contend with a descendant of heroic knights of the English past. The result is not one of Little Consequence, as he is about to see.

 

Sir Schlock's BMP client was finally contacted by the British police with a request to meet with him in their quest to find out who the little girls were who were with pictured with the prince at that party. The farmer BMP, used to being questioned about sensitive matters by the media, told them he could not answer any questions without having his legal counsel present at any such meeting. Sir Schlock was brought up short when he got the call from his client that the meeting would happen at Westminster Palace the next day, and that he was needed to be there representing the BMP. He replied that they should meet with him at his office so not to raise any undue media attention. They agreed.

 

In preparation for the meeting, Sir Schlock had to refresh his memory of the "Madder of Little Consequence" as he had not extorted any funds from those who voluntarily offered them in the U.S. and wanted to have the facts clear in his mind. The paying parties clearly wanted the media coverage that Ricky Ben Noson, the NYC reporter who called himself "Rick 'the Dick' Tracer" and who others called "Tricky 'the Dick' Eraser," had gotten started internationally. Who was Sir Schlock to question their reasons? They paid, and that was what "maddered." But he had to have his position clearly in his mind about the "Madder of Little Consequence" in case it came up in the questioning.

 

He knew that Consequence Ly's name had to be on the guest list along with her named mother, Mrs. Frank Ly. In addition, the police had to have found the name of his assistant, Dr. T.V. Whatson, on it as having attended that night. These persons there listed might cause the police to suspect him as having a role.

 

The police now considered that claims, of which Schlock was not yet aware, having come from Laura Norder for years might have some credence after all. The police then considered that perhaps she was right about Mrs. Ly kidnapping little Consequence from the U.S. some years ago and that she had been held captive since at the Palace of Westminster. Maybe she was even one of those three girls, the police thought. Sir Schlock, however, was not so dull witted not to realize that little Consequence's attendance might raise some serious problems for him, even though he well-knew that any suspicions about her were unfounded.

 

Sir Schlock did know that Whatson had attended but not that he had taken Froggy Wenta with him. The police found an Israeli national with that name as his guest on the list. They wondered what an Israeli national doing was at a party for the change of command of the British Army, and they wanted to find out. But the Israeli had been taken to it by that closest assistant of Sir Schlock, Dr. TV Whatson, so that made them suspect Sir Schlock also.

 

The police had been confounded when they had searched unsuccessfully for Mrs. Frank Ly or Consequence Ly on all the passenger lists of flights back to the U.S. after the time of the party. Not finding that they had departed from England, the police were sure that they would find them still there. Sir Schlock had to be the best source for all of their inquiries, so the BMP was only their excuse to get to question him. This Sir Schlock sensed might be the case, so he prepared himself the night before, though he did not suspect Laura Norder's hand in the madder.

 

That evening, the police contacted Dr. Whatson and requested that he attend the meeting they had scheduled with the BMP client at Sir Schlock's offic. They told him he was to come only as a witness, as he had been at the party. Dr. Whatson immediately called Schlock and told him about his coming also. Sir Schlock was taken aback by this news, as it indicated that the police were investigating all who had attended, and that would include Mrs. Ly and little Consequence.

 

He did not sleep well that night. His mother appeared in his dreams saying, "Oy, vey! Schlock, you have not done what? You have to remember your rubbers and slickers? I told you how many times?" This dream startled Sir Schlock awake. He took it as a foreboding of problems that he would face later that morning at the meeting, and he was right.

 

When the appointed hour arrived, Sir Schlock was as composed as he could make himself. His client arrived just before the hour, and upon first sitting down in Schlock's office he was greeted by his legal counsel very politely, but immediately began to be advised of his rights and warned against talking without consulting "him" first. The farmer BMP was not used to Schlock's being so cautionary. Normally, his legal counsel was very relaxed and almost complacent about the upcoming legal discussions they had. This time, he sensed that something was afoot about which he knew virtually nothing. He wondered why Schlock was so uncharacteristically cautionary.

 

Next to arrive was Dr. Whatson, who immediately began questioning Schlock about why he had been requested to be there on a matter that involved his client, the BMP. Schlock could not reasonably answer, not that he usually did, but this time he could not even satisfy his closest associate, Whatson, with his reply.

 

"Whatson, this madder is his first time to be contacted by the police for any inquest into his client's affairs. The only way he can explain to you what it is about and why they asked you to come is to say that it is a mystery to him as much as to you." This did nothing to quiet Whatson's disturbed mind, as he had never seen Schlock so at a loss to say anything impossible to decipher.

 

Then, in came the London Police Captain, along with his uniformed stenographer and a security detail of two other police officers. The room was filled with police uniforms, and the intimidation it caused was nearly tactile. The BMP was used to being questioned by public officials and the media, so he was the least affected.

 

Dr. Whatson was a bit uneasy at this large contingent's arrival, but he made room for them in Schlock's rather small parlor outside of Schlock's inner sanctum office with the piles of manila folders on his desk. The police did not know that it was not his inner law office, but it did not matter to them. Sir Schlock sat in silence beside his BMP client, and when they arrived he did not arise and welcome them to his office. Only the BMP was at all cordial and said, Gentlemen, first I want to sincerely thank you for permitting this inquiry to be done in private in my legal counsel's, Sir Schlock Heim's, office and not at the Palace. Please make themselves comfortable in these chairs so we may begin and get this over as fast as possible. I have other business to attend to after this."

 

The police captain began by saying, "This is an official inquest that is being recorded beginning with these my words by my stenographer, Lt. Smedly. No one here has been charged with any offense or crime. We are here to gather information for an investigation into the identities of three girls who attended that party at the Palace at Westminster a couple of nights ago, the one in which the transfer of command of the British Army was being recognized and honored. We will keep it as brief as the subject permits. Now, let's begin with the names of those who are here in attendance."

 

At this, Sir Schlock spoke up. "He is Sir Schlock Heims, the legal counsel for his BMP client, the farmer with whom you are all acquainted and need not speak a name for your record. The other person here is his able assistant, Dr. TV Whatson, the attendance of which is a mystery to him as he is not associated at all with his client, the BMP."

 

The police stenographer did not know how to make out what Schlock had just said, as the use of the third person "he" was not known to those outside of Schlock's clientele and the courts. Nevertheless, the stenographer faithfully recorded the words that Schlock had just spoken even though they made no sense.

 

The police captain then said, "Right, let's get to the meat of this subject. I wish to know from your client, Sir Schlock, if he attended the party the other night, the one I mentioned firstly."

 

Sir Schlock looked at the BMP farmer and shook his head "no," as in not to answer the question. There was a big silence in the room, and then the questioner said, "What is the answer, yes or no."

 

Sir Schlock again shook his head "no, don't answer," and the BMP kept quiet again. The police captain was beside himself as to how to get anything said. He turned to Dr. Whatson and said that his name was on the attendance list for that party. He then asked, "I see on the party attendance list that you attended that party at the same time as a young girl did, one by the name of Consequence Ly, who you reportedly had known before in the USA. Isn't that true?"

 

Sir Schlock then saw that his keeping his client quiet had given the police the excuse to go after Dr. Whatson's information. He could do nothing to stop it. And he understood for the first time the meaning of his mother's grave warning in his dream the night before, as he had forgotten his rubbers and slickers by not making Dr. Whatson his client before the meeting.

 

Dr. Whatson looked at Sir Schlock helplessly, but when nothing was said by "him," he answered, "Yes."

 

The question then was put to him, "What happened to little Consequence Ly when you returned to London after your visit to the U.S.?"

 

Dr. Whatson knew he had to be careful to tell the truth and still to keep as much private as possible. So, he paused as though thinking and trying to remember what happened, and then he said, "I don't know where she went when she stayed in the U.S. after that time. I returned with them for a short visit to London, but where they went after that was not shared with me. All I knew at the time was that they had left."

 

This answer left it open for the police to suspect that little Consequence might still be in England and be a captive at the Palace of Westminster. Therefore, the police interrogator said, "Did you see her at the Palace party the other night?"

 

Dr. Whatson, said only, "Yes."

 

The next question was one that caused Whatson to stop and consider his secret relationship with MI6. The police captain asked, "Was she seated with you?"

 

Whatson could answer that truthfully and did so with a "No."

 

The question was then asked of him, "Was she seated alone?"

 

Dr. Whatson knew he could stop this line of questions about himself by saying, "She had come in before I did and was seated toward the front, while I was in the back. It seemed apparent to me, though I did not go and talk with her, that she was seated with others."

 

The police captain thought he had a line of questions going that would reveal her association with the Prince, so he asked, "Who was she seated with?"

 

Now, Whatson knew he could rely on MI6 intervention for protection, knowing, also, that he could not reveal his own or WW's connections with them, so he said, "She was seated with an obviously English man in uniform, a man whom I may not identify to you, and at least one other female."

 

The police captain was beside himself with gladness. He thought that he had gotten quickly to a source person who very possibly could identify one of the girls with the prince, a man whom Whatson "may not identify" to him. He forgot about the "at least one other female" part of the answer, and all of his attention became focused on the "obviously English man in uniform" part of Whatson's answer. He knew, however, that he had better be careful how hard he pressed Dr. Whatson about that man in uniform, so he decided to leave the subject there for later action when he knew what it was to be. He even forgot to ask Dr. Whatson about the Israeli, Froggy Wenta, who had attended the party with him.

 

The police captain then said, "That is all I wish to ask right now, so thank you for your cooperation, Dr. Whatson. As I have not been able to ask a single question of the client of Sir Schlock Heims, I will leave those for others to pursue in another manner. Good day, gentlemen."

 

With this announcement, the police abruptly packed up the stenographic equipment and departed Schlock's office. A great sigh of relief was not heard but was surely felt all around. The BMP had not said a word, and Dr. Whatson had done a sterling job of fending off questions in such a manner that no one's character was impugned in any way. But that was not to be the end of their problems.

 

The police were nearly certain that they had gotten a witness to confirm that little Consequence was probably one of Prince Andrew's girls at the party. They had to have high level meetings to decide how to proceed with this unexpected turn of events involving a royal at the very beginning of their investigation. They had to pass the suspicion up the chain of police authority to Scotland Yard, and they in turn had to pass it to MI6. When it arrived there, a hearty laugh was heard from the rooftops to the basement coming from the commanding officers.

 

Little Consequence had foiled all again, and she was already back in New York State studying English history and wondering about WW's heritage. Then, the unexpected happened in her life when she received another email from WW. In it he gave her the following news:

 

"LC, you may be surprised to know that your being at the party at the palace has caused a major uproar in police circles here. They have assumed that you were seated with a member of the royal family when there. I don't mean me, but the one you saw seated at the very front. This has gotten them very excited to find you, and your life has been put in the spotlight here.

 

"I am telling you this not to create any worries on your part, as it is quite funny to those of us who know better. I just thought you might find it amusing as well.

 

"Best wishes to you and your mother, yours sincerely,

 

"WW"

 

Little Consequence became very pleased to have heard from WW again, and she was excited to tell her mother about the fame that she had gained from attending that party. Her mother was not at all surprised, as she had seen the effects of all that her little Consequence did for many years.

 

What they did not know was that the fame little Consequence was pleased about would leak out into the media and be seen by Laura Norder, who was equally thrilled to see that news. It meant to Laura that she had been right to make such an issue out of the disappearance of some little Consequence; and she was more certain than ever that Sir Schlock was soon to be made her houseboy.

 

Sir Schlock was still unaware of his coming pugilistic bouts with Laura, as he thought the struggles introduced by having his BMP client in attendance at a party with Prince Andrew, one that ended up as a scandalous picture on the front pages of the newspapers, were all with which he had to deal. The Madder of Little Consequence was the last thing on his troubled mind.

 

End of Episode 16

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